Long Live

[John Miller]

John filled the tub with freezing cold water. He didn't even bother to get undressed anymore. He sat down in it fully dressed, but the coldness pierced even through his tick cloths and made him shake. It send shivers through each of his muscles and bones and he sighted in a combination of pain and relief.

He had taken this trip here as a test. He had told himself that he was not going to be afriad of his father. That he was going to act mature and grown and powerful about this whole situation. That he was passed it, that he was not a child anymore. But, as soon as he had saw his dad, his knees got weak and breathing itself became a difficult thing. He had not past his own test. He really WAS still a child and he really WAS still afraid of his father... He couldn't believe that he had failed himself...

He left himself sink deeper inside the tub, closing his eyes. He was able to feel the freezing water entering his nose and mouth, taking all the air from his lungs. It felt painful and horrible, but he didn't cared. It was somehow so peaceful and calm... He felt as if he could die right there. Dying sounded peaceful...