Rock club

[Ada McNair]

Defapt Raizen. Poti spune ca asculti ROCK. Adica ar fi cam ciudat sa spui ca nu asculti ROCK dar asculti METAL. Dar in schimb poti spune ca asculti ROCK dar nu-ti place METAL'ul. Stiu ca suna cam ciudat, dar METAL'ul tot din ROCK se trage. Si eu la inceput ziceam ca nu e nici o problema, dar am aflat si eu . Stai sa vad daca mai gasesc.

"deci sa fie clar: metalu' e un substil al rockului. Matematic vorbind: metal=rock, dar rock nu e egal cu metal. Sa spui k nu asculti rock, da' asculti metal ar trebui sa fi retardat. Poti sa zici ca asculti rock, da nu shi metal. Sper k m-am facut inteles de data asta."

Cu asta m-a frecat un rocker 3432 de ani la cap )


sa va dau un exemplu pentru caracteristicile fiecarui gen:
There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castleguarded by a dragon.
Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as
knights.

* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,
saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.


* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks
her.


* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.


* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins,
flutes
and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all
the
dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.


* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe,
skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her
belongings and burns the castle before leaving.


* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills
her, then leaves.


* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in
front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in
a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the
dragon.


* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front
of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her.Then he fucks the dead
body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the
carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last
time.


* GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for
about 2 minutes and then leaves...

* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could
never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon
eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad
story.


* GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist
completes the duett by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the
flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the
beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned
in hell's eternity.


* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes.
The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the
princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes
he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The
princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.


* INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene
gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by
security guards.


* SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird
stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are
still looking for the one who did this.


* CHRISTIAN METAL

The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy
power
ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon
should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the
princess wants to "thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I
don't believe in having sex before marriage."


* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and
lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the
castle in a beautiful pink colour.


* BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war
chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks
the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets
bored.


* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight
the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch
fire.


* EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to
get the princess to fall in love with him, He gets eaten. The princess
is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.


* GRUNGE
The protagonist doesn't get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too
much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won't go near him
either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other
mosha's due to the over consumption of white cider.


* POP-PUNK
The dragon can't eat the protagonist because he can't catch him because
he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won't f*ck him either,
because he likes ska.